Are you in a battle against weakness?

I woke in the wee hours of the morning the other day thinking thoughts about weakness, talking it over with the Lord. A simple white and black picture came to mind. It was an image of a person standing on a huge boulder and on that boulder were the words "Christ my Rock." Like a boxer who has been knocked down over and over but refuses to stay down, this person was hunched over, barely able to stand, gloves up and determined to keep fighting.

"That's me, isn't it Lord?" Weakened, yet hating to be weak; defeated, yet refusing to let weakness take me down.

Then another image presented itself alongside the first. This one had the same rock, but rather than standing, I was lying face down and spread eagle, completely limp on the Rock. No longer fighting weakness but embracing it. Embracing it  because I was embracing Christ. 

"That's how you want me to be, right Lord?" 

But no, there was one more thing the Lord wanted to add to this picture. There was Christ my Rock. There was me, face down, arms out. And there was  a cross - on my back.

That's surrender!

"Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come; you have given the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress. " Psalm 71:3

How the book came together

The first concept of this book was to be a mentoring guide for walking in the Spirit.

It was in answer to a self-proposed question: if I could teach young women one thing that would equip them to continue following Christ after leaving Emmaus Bible College, what would that be?

I quickly realized that I would first have to understand what it meant to walk by the Spirit. How could I teach what, for me personally, had always ended in frustrated failures?

This time my approach would be different. This time I would start by taking out the opposition, i.e. the flesh. 

Study guide questions needed more explanation. The explanations needed explanations. That’s when I felt the nudging of the Lord to do something I had never dreamed of doing – write a book.

This book has been entirely the Lord’s idea. Every step has been a walk of faith, and along every step He has shown Himself to be faithful.  

The outline was His. I know this because it just spilled out onto the page. 

Some of the subjects, like the flesh, humility, repentance, love and spiritual gifts already had a beginning to work with. They came from previous messages or devotionals I had worked on.  Others like weakness and suffering were a blank page. I sat down to write wondering what in the world would I say. They ended up being so long I had to divide them into multiple chapters. 

My free-lance editor, Helen Wieger, was a gift from the Lord. My publisher, ECS Ministries, was a divinely opened door.

Even now as I contemplate the reality that this book is done, I know that it was all of the Lord. As a recovering perfectionist, I could never have written this. My natural self could never have handled the number of rewrites, edits and deletes that I have made over the four years it has taken to do this. It has been a God thing from start to finish. May He receive all the glory!

Why this book?

As a missionary in Mexico, I encountered a young woman whose struggles with sin resembled mine, but though I believed with all my heart that Christ offered her the answer, I realized that I personally had not experienced enough victory in my own life to help her. All I could do was share in her frustration and constant struggle. I felt like a child pretending to be a grown-up. Since then, through the Word and conviction of the Spirit, the Lord has continually brought me back to the truth that the only thing my flesh is good for is dying.

Today I am a faculty spouse at Emmaus Bible College where the Lord has given me multiple opportunities to mentor young women. It has become my passion and joy to help them break free from the cycle of defeat that had me trapped for so long.